Take a close look at the photo to your right. These people could well be terrorists. After all, they're vegan.

Think I'm crazy? Talk to the Minneapolis Police Department.

In preparation for the Republican National Convention in Minneapolis in September, the FBI has teamed up with local law enforcement to infiltrate and spy on potential terrorist meetings -- namely, vegan potluck dinners.

What?

Yes, according to the FBI, vegan potlucks are hotbeds of threatening activity, where dissidents will gather and plot their attacks. So FBI and police officials are recruiting moles to hit up these nefarious, PETA-friendly meetings and keep an ear out for any suspicious planning. One young man, Paul Carroll, a University of Minnesota sophomore who was recently arrested for spraypainting an elevator's interior, was even offered money to pose as a sympathizer of the liberal -- a.k.a. "terrorist" -- cause. He declined.

But it wouldn't be hard for Carroll to convince the vegans. He's tall, skinny, and has wavy hair. With such a look, if this were the 1970s, he would clearly be one of the Weathermen. Come to think of it, I should probably report the man who makes my falafel sandwiches to Homeland Security. He's got brown skin. And while I'm at it, the entire population of my Brooklyn neighborhood, where at least one block of tofu sits in every refrigerator.

As the billboards across the Dakotas and Wyoming proudly demand, "Eat Beef Today, Damnit!" Because if you don't, the terrorists have won.